Smash the Patriarchy!

by Sep 10, 2022Rev Karla's Blog

Smash the patriarchy.
We’re mocked for saying it.

Accused of radical — even violent — rhetoric – which is laughable.
It’s said by those who fear patriarchy’s demise because of the power this antiquated, broken system gives them.

But when we say “smash the patriarchy”……….

This is what we mean.

During life’s most sacred moments — as captured in this one photo – people should never be held captive by the patriarchal definition of “acceptable” or “normal.”

This wedding ceremony did not require the approval of the patriarchy.

It was, in fact — a gathering of souls that thoroughly and passionately rejected patriarchy’s influence.

Some might look at us and say we didn’t fit the normative standards set by this patriarchy.

To that, we would say “thank you for noticing.” That is precisely the way we now live our lives, free from the chains that an archaic institution still attempts to place on us.

This was an important moment in time that deserves to be recognized, remembered, and commemorated for so many reasons.

And someone right now is reading these words, desperate to imagine their life free from the suffocating grip of patriarchy…..

To you, we kneel in front of you, cup your beautiful face in our hands and say, “look at the people going before you.”

You’ll find them gathered to witness and celebrate the wedding of Ria and Amber. They showed up with unmatched energy and blasted to the world through the power of social media that “I am here because I see & honor them for who they are.”

You can find it in the wedding party that broke the chains of patriarchy to stand fully in their authenticity, rejecting gender and sexual identities that patriarchy would force upon them.

You can find it in my clergy robe, subtly designed to honor our grandmothers accused of being witches by those who feared the power of the feminine and refused to conform to patriarchal standards. Sadly, that fear still exists in many who refuse to acknowledge a woman’s right to be an ordained minister.


You can find it in the stand-in mother with guardian wings large enough to provide love and protection for all of us present. Her toast brought people to tears as she anchored her actions with the truest words ever spoken from the heart.

You can see it in Amber, with a beauty and style that honors the power of the feminine echoing through time. Yet don’t miss this — look closer, and you’ll see that Amber is giving you permission to embrace the feminine, but not for patriarchy’s approval…


it is in spite of it.

Amber — who for years tried to conform to those normative standards which patriarchy demands before finding her path to authenticity.

You can see it in Ria, as she walked the boardwalk towards the altar, each step representing her own journey to break free from suffocating generational trauma. Each step brought her closer to the life she desired — the life she earned once she had broken free and the wounds had been healed.

And you can see in Ria’s eyes, when she first saw Amber, descending those stairs, where the journeys of a lifetime brought them to this very moment…


this very sacred moment.

A moment that did not require patriarchy’s presence, for we have always been powerful enough to lead, wise enough to teach and compassionate enough to love.

It is patriarchy that has attempted to silence us throughout history.

And it is patriarchy that — even today — continues to silence us.

It cannot win.
Not because I alone say it cannot.
Humanity tells us it cannot.
We have always been moving toward an expansive and awakened consciousness that is outgrowing antiquated systems…

such as patriarchy.

Don’t believe me?
Remember this image of this sacred day.


For its power rippled throughout the world, and…

right now — somewhere, someone is seeing it and knows that because we are here being who we truly are, they have hope that someday they too can be who they truly are.

And the ripple becomes an unstoppable tidal wave.

May it be so.
Smash the patriarchy?
Indeed.
Blessed be.